Dear Father,
In reading my prayers, I see a consistent pleading for you to take my time! To overpower the distractions.I know I have a part in this, but I NEED you to turn my face towards you.I don't want to waste time, I don't want my days to keep passing outside of oneness with you. as I write my mind turns every which way but up. WHAT MORE ?than my desire? My consistent desire to be in your presence. To be led by your spirit What more do I NEED to Do for YOU TO GRAB a hold of me.
What in me do I need to give up??????
My fear of losing control?
From Silence and Solitude....
God is infinitely patience.He will not push himself into our lives.
He knows the greatest thing he has given us is our freedom.
If we want it habitually,even exclusively, to operate from the level
of our own reason, he will respectfully keep silent.
We can fill ourselves with our own thoughts,ideas and
images, and feelings.
He will not interfere. But if we invite him with attention,
opening our inner spaces with silence, he will speak to our souls,
not in words or concepts,but in a mysterious way that LOVE expresses itself-
BY PRESENCE. By M.Basil Pennington,Centered Living
You are patient and you won't push yourself into my life.
You give me FREEDOM. I don't want MY FREEDOM, I want YOURS. I beg and plead, tell you I don't need my freedom. I don't want it.
BUT THEN when I question what I need to give I am afraid.
I realize then I want some control.
What if it is school I need to give up? My security, future, and hope?
The only thing I think I am doing right.
Who would I be? What would I look like?
To society, doing nothing.
If I gave up school, I am sure I would have something else in my agenda.
(Maybe I could work Saturdays)
or visit friends,clean,watch TV.
My God ...I don't think it matters,what I have to do.
There will always be something else taking my time.
Taking the oneness with you I so desire..
I AM OVER my freedom, I WANT YOURS.
Put in me a stance of listening and receiving.
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