I am angry....inside

What is it that makes me so mad? I am not just simply annoyed I am disgusted and ANGRY.
Is it a combination of things from the past that I am projecting.
I have denied this and held this at bay forever....until now. I am MEAN. I feel justified. True to some extent I can justify my anger. I have GOOD reasons to be angry but God says in your anger do not sin.
How I SIN : I say mean things and I mean them. I escape or distract myself from my feelings. I stuff my feelings.
WHY is that sin?
 Because it keeps me from stopping and seeking God's direction.
To stop is to feel the extent of my feelings and I am not sure what or how to deal with them. I don't know how I can express them and I can't place words to them.
To get to the roots feels impossible because the roots have been covered with layers of unattended to anger, pain,bad choices and disappointment.

OKAY my point is I can't be mean and I can't keep sinning... so I have to deal with this anger or pain so I can be who God is trying to lead me to be. GOD get me out of our way.