ME!

OH MY!
SO I realize I am 36 I think. Yea I think.
Pretty old.
I realize I am heavier now than  I have even been.  EVEN PREGNANT. Which I am not but sure looks like I am about 6 or so months.
I REALIZE I have been off and on antidepressants for about 8 years.
OLD okay FAT not so okay DEPRESSED not okay at all.
I realize I am in a place of misery pretending I am not fooling others and definately been foolin myself.
SO here I sit in this place and think what real thing , change can I make, what could I do to find ME not this ME sitting here but a ME I am comforatable to be......

so whats the answer..lose wieght ......exercise.......stop taking antidepressants....take more....sleep...get a job......hmmmmmmm
 Got a lot of reasons why I need to pull out of this

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Bad dream or Challenge

I lived in some horrible place where many children were abused sexually. We would rescue them and house them in a much nicer place. The children multiplied daily more and more being brought to safety. They had weird quirks of course but were otherwise beautiful little ones who wanted to be loved normally not pervertedly. They did not know of course the damage their abuse had caused them it was all they knew, but they knew we were funner and not so scary as where they came from. The BAD guys came to claim their toys back but a big snarly bulldog swung through the doorway and knocked them out.
My dream was very real. Whats is worse is that even when I woke up I realized that my dream was still very real.
Not sure what I can do to help? But I hope to be able to
http://shedances.org/
freedomforgirls.blogspot.com/    

Here are a few people who are helping, taking risks and making a difference 


But the Children just like in my dream are multiplying it will take so many hands and hearts to repair the damage done by abuse.